Tagged: uncategorized
blog with yr tits out
- by admin
because it's too damn hot and yr girl doesn't have central air or droves of men to fan me with giant peacock fans (yet)
and instead have to settle for lying around naked on the bed with candles and coffee and cat cuddles because cats love to climb all over yr bare skin and dig their nails into you
like girls, or boys with long nails (which is gross)
anyway we're lying around on the bed naked and ford is stalking the incense my parents brought back for me from the states which is called "attract money" which doesn't really make sense. I've never understood why incense has to have stupid names like "banish sadness" or "happy rush" or "ecstasy" because none of them do that, or are that.
all they do is make the room smell good after you've cleaned or fucked.
so here I am burning it while the cat climbs all over me and I'm typing on my stomach because the laptop is making my legs warm in an uncomfortable way so I'm sort of sprawled out all weird. blogging like this is hard, but I do it because I love you. because I need to. because I have to.
which are all the reasons I'm trying to convince Tyrone to take me to Dan Mangan in november. also my birthday is the 11th so it can be my birthday present, right? right.
not to mention Dan Mangan has got some of the cutest & sweetest tunes out there.
not to mention we almost never go out to concerts these days.
not to mention I've now talked about it on the Internet.
not to mention that Tyrone gets to watch me blog with my tits out.
musings of a bicycle-riding girl
- by admin
you know I ride my bike to work almost every day.it's a soild 10km there and another back, so yr grl is getting in good shape this summer
I'll crush your ribs with my thighs of steel.
biking is getting pretty big here (which is nice)
this morning I counted and I passed over thirty cyclists on my way to work
we all smiled and waved at each other
because we're bros
on our motherfuckin' bikes
which is cool.
but what isn't cool is how drivers treat you when you're on yr bike
they handle you with kid gloves
then get mad when you treat them like they're in cars.
for example
this morning I was waiting to cross Corydon Ave
when some dude in a truck was driving by and slowed down because he saw me waiting to cross the street
then got mad at me and honked because I didn't cross while he was illegally stopped in the middle of the intersection
he even flipped me the bird!
this happens -I kid you not- at least once a day
and I don't get it.
I'm riding a bike, more or less unprotected, so I try to avoid being too close to giant metal machines that could kill me in an instant
but they always slow down anyway, or stop completely
like they're doing me a favour (which they aren't)
and frankly it ruins my otherwise lovely bike ride to have some asshat in a giant truck giving me the finger because I'm trying to obey the rules of the road and he figures he's better than everyone else so he can stop wherever he wants
which explains why he's driving a truck, I guess.
I have a wide-on for DDL
- by admin
which stands for Daniel Day-Lewis in case you were wondering.
back in the day I went and saw "There Will Be Blood" with my ex who I lived with in Hamilton. we were reaching the tail-end of our boring relationship and a typical night out was seeing a movie and going to some chain restaurant which is okay sometimes (except not the chain restaurant part) but not always and I don't think he was really into what was probably going to be a really long, intense movie, which is exactly why I wanted to see it.
we were in a shitty theatre where the seats were all really close together and this couple in front of us wouldn't shut up and it was driving me crazy.
for example, there's this really intense scene that I can't tell you about because it's a crucial part of the movie and the guy starts going
SEE I TOLD YOU THAT WOULD HAPPEN OMG OMG SEE I TOLD YOU
and in a heated exchange wherein I informed them that if I had wanted to watch the movie with running commentary I would have waited to get the dvd and they said some nasty things to me and I said some nasty things back and then some other people in the rows around us stood up for me and told them to stfu also eventually we harassed them into leaving the theatre
which in hindsight is both somewhat of a dick move and also hilarious.
because if you think you're important enough to talk through a Daniel Day-Lewis movie you've got another thing coming.
after that we watched the rest of the movie in peace
though my now-ex boyfriend was less than impressed with what became one of my favourite movies
and sadly that debacle in the theatre was the most exciting thing that happened to us that night.
Just saw some Egyptian dude fail at getting an olympic bronze medal
- by admin
what in? weight lifting. if I was listening properly (I wasn't) buddy was trying to lift 350lbs which is insane because that's like two and a half more of me and my boobs are too big to be a ballerina.
he lined up and picked up the weights and got 'em as high as his shoulders and I was all
woah this guys neck veins are going to explode
and he dropped it and looked like he was going to cry and you know what I would, too, if I was in the olympics and my thing was lifting heavy things (which always seems weird to me as a competitive sport) and I couldn't do it and the whole world was watching
well, I'd probably go offstage and cry, too
then find myself a consolation prize in the olympic village.
Champions of Nothing
- by admin
When Hollywood runs out of Indians
When the bar stars melt and their golden hair turns into glass
When Hollywood runs out of Indians
When the bubble bursts and the first are come for by the last
There's something in the way you move
Makes me catch a cold
There's something in your "too cool for school"
When you slide up and down my pole
There's something in the way you look
That only casts a shadow
When Hollywood runs out of Indians
Only the Indians will know
A kick in the head, pass it around
Begging for a bed, pass it around
Pass it around
And I'd say what you'd say
It makes me feel nothing
There's a car waiting to take me to something
At the end of my rope there's
A new world, it's snowing
The globe it starts shaking
Is it me not worth knowing?
The white coats are melting
The snow down our mountains
To process the rivers for hallways, and fountains
And I'd say what you'd say
But it makes me feel nothing
Til there's a man waiting to take me to something
That I'm for
Hell
It looks red in all it's pictures
My sisters sing laments
While their skin blisters
(take your time, take your time, take your time)
Halleluiahs
Offered down on the floor
Nobody goes above decks
No, not no more
They say the sun is still shining
That you can feel it in your core
But I ain't seen nobody move
That weren't going for the door
And I'd say what you'd say
Champions of nothing
But there's a car waiting to take me to something
At the end of my rope
There's a new world, it's glowing
The globe it starts shaking
Was it you not worth knowing?
The white coats are melting
The snow down our mountains
To process the rivers for hallways, and fountains
And I'd say what you'd say
But it makes me feel nothing
Til there's a man waiting to take me something
That I'm for...
Hip Hop Sunday (The Return!) - Wyclef Jean - Gone Till November
- by admin
did you miss it?
I know you did
I have a crush on Garfunkel & Oates
- by admin
not because their name is hilarious or because they have a song about masturbating accidentally in a boxcar
-which is something I didn't know was possible-
but because chicks who write satirical songs are hawt
because sarcasm and irony are sexy
because girls who are funny are the best girls around.
