You spend half of your time modeling, and the other half next to me

Today I learned something:

If Rogers is telling me that I have full Dukes (connectivity bars) and won't even send a simple text, I will become increasingly enraged as I try to send and re-send a text that wasn't terribly important to begin with, but now has become my sole reason for living and the bane of my existence.

Why can't you just send my text, Rogers?! Why must you lie to me so?

At least tell it to me straight: I have no connectivity and can expect no reception on campus. Don't fill my heart with these fabrications of Dukes and then trap me in a web of unconnected loneliness leaving me to rot with texts and tweets unsent.

Why, Rogers, why?