August 18, 2012

because when you don't live together every time you see each other is this total 'omg' moment where you're reminded that this really fantastic person actually wants to come to your crummy house and hang on your sofa and watch bad movies with you, or vice-versa. it's all fresh and new and sweet.

remember when you used to stress about which outfit to wear before they came over? fix your hair and/or makeup and use mouthwash?

yeah. me too.

nowadays instead of saving up for fancy dinners every once and a while and spending too much money on wine Tyrone and I go on biking adventures all over the place and fit cheap meals in at dive restaurants that make stuff like shawarma and dim sum and pho. maybe that's just us though, but now that we're settled in going somewhere fancy doesn't seem like such a huge deal and besides I get much better food and service at a place that has plastic tablecloths than one with linen most of the time anyway.

there's this nice level of comfort that sets in where it's okay to not have to take someone into a dark corner of a room and sit a foot from each other over expensive martinis because it's what's 'cool' and 'hip' to do. when taking mass transit (or, again, bikes) is acceptable over catching a cab. when staying in and making kale chips and watching a movie is a preferable option to sitting in a theatre eating expensive food and listening to some douchey teenagers in the row behind you comment the whole time.

not that things aren't still sweet. they are. just differently.

when stuff like doing the laundry together begins to matter, or who did the dishes last. boring stuff. the stuff that shitty magazines like cosmo tell girls that we need to avoid at all costs because if we're not always dolling ourselves up or putting scrunchies around his dick as a surprise in bed (I literally read that once) you're not 'doing relationships right'.

it's just weird to me that all these things that we're primed to take as red flags are actually signs that things are going well. that you haven't fucked it all up. things you can only really know once you've experienced the shift from 'omg dating anxiety' to 'that other person who lives in my house and whom I bang on the regular' and until then spend all this time fretting and stressing about it getting there.

originally this post was going to be about how we went to value village and how I bought a sweater and a jogging jacket and I have no idea how I got so derailed.

I don't know how it got here.