why we're not Friends on The Internet

don't get too upset if I unfriended you or unfollowed you or didn't respond to your request on linkedin or we were never friends in the first place and you wannabe. it's just not gonna happen.

maybe you tweeted a bunch of stoopid shit and I got sick of seeing it. maybe you kept inviting me to events in a city I don't live in or even events in the city that I do live in but your events suck and I don't wanna go. mebbe you're just bad at the internet and I got sick of looking at your 9gag posts (reddit rules). maybe I just don't like yr face.

the problem with cutting people off on the internet is they get all offended about it like somehow the Internet matters like OMG HOW DARE U BLOCK ME U BITCH or whatevever. some people get all passive-aggressive like "omg you unfriended me but I don't care SEE" which means you do and then that's why I don't want to be Internet Friends with you, silly.

pick which one you think applies and go with it.

nobody actually cares who you're friends with in real life and this goes double for The Internet but it's stupid because if you unfriend someone or unfollow them it's a public attack on their person like how dare you not acknowledge them in a networking platform, already?!

facebook doesn't want you to do this, either. I just spent a bunch of time unfriending people that for one reason or another I just don't really care about anymore and it took way longer than it should have: you have to go to your page and then to your 'friends' page and then click on their page and then click 'friends' and then click 'unfriend' and then click again to acknowledge that the past few steps were what you actually wanted to do (yes omg) and I'm half-convinced that facebook does this so everyone has 5,000 friends because it's too much of a hassle to manage them.

I'm not even finished going through the list, either, this blog post is just a break from the incessant clicking required to clean up the mess that is your pretend online social circle.

so if I nix ya in the next little bit, you know why. not sorry about your feels.