- by Alyson Shane
I was having one of those "stress dreams".
You know the ones: something's wrong, and it's stressful, and you spend the whole dream trying to manage or resolve it and wake up feeling anxious or stressed-out or out-of-sorts. I get them when I'm under a lot of pressure, or when I have a deadline looming, or when I'm about to go back to work after an extended break
(which is what I assume this one was about.)
For me, these dreams typically centre around a few themes:
- I'm in school and I have an exam and I've forgotten to study for
- I'm in school and I've forgotten to do an assignment
- I'm trying to get to school/work but stuck somewhere
What's weird about these dreams is that even though I'm in school (usually it's high school though sometimes it's university) I always know I'm not actually in school in real life, so I spend most of the dream trying to convince people that I've actually graduated, or that I'm working full-time, or whatever.
(Trying to get people to listen to/believe what I say is another recurring theme in my dreams which tells you a lot about the trauma/baggage I'm still trying to work through I guess.)
Anyway. Last night I'm having this super-vivid dream about my old high school, Garden City Collegiate
(except it wasn't actually GC since that's just how dreams work sometimes)
I'm sitting in a classroom with all the girls I went to school with, Candice and Dyan and Kaitlin and Kristen and Meaghan and so on, and I'm feeling stressed because we're all about to take a giant test and (surprise surprise) I'm not ready for it.
We're all sitting on the floor for some reason and I get up to go talk to my old guidance counsellor, Mr. Loeppky, to tell him that, hey, there's been some mix-up because I don't even go here.
But since it's a stress-dream obviously he isn't listening to me and keeps walking away, and I'm running around the school dodging students and shoving past people to keep up with him and explain the situation and then I bump into my ex, who looks at me and just
pukes all over himself
so I stop chasing Mr. Leoppky and take him to the bathroom and try to help him wash up, but he's covered in vomit and it's all over his black shirt and it's squicking me out so I leave to find Mr. Loeppky again
but instead I wind up back in the original classroom, because dreams.
I'm sitting on the floor again, talking to the girls I grew up with, and this other girl Jessica (who bullied me abit when we were kids) comes up, points at me and starts screaming about how much I smell.
I look down and realize I'm also covered in puke. Oh hell.
I start trying to explain myself but because it's a stress-dream she isn't listening and is teasing me and everyone around is turning to stare and ohgod now they're all judging me and ohgod they're sneering at me and ohgodohgod
instead of panicking and getting upset and embarrassed and stressed out, I stand up and say:
"I smell because I was helping Ty wipe puke off himself, and I don't even go here so fuck you and fuck this."
... and I walked right out of the school and into a busy street where I caught a streetcar and rode it to a park where I ate macaroons in a park in the sunshine and thought about how much I love running my own business and not being in school anymore.
I know this all sounds stupid (because dreams) but I have never ever EVER resolved a stress-dream that way. I woke up feeling happy and confident and secure and GOOD about myself, which isn't how those dreams have ever gone at all.
I'm not really sure what to make of it. Maybe I'm moving on past some sort of baggage or maybe it was just a fluke, who knows.
Either way it felt good, and I'll take it.
- by admin
spending my day teaching excel to seniors like a boss
and bringing home the bacon
cause when you spend all week
takin names & poppin (Tylenol Extra Strength) caps
eventually you've gotta make a break for it
this weekend's going to be all about relaxing
chilling with Tyrone and some friends
having some drinks & watching sports (who knew?)
and getting my groove on
but I'll still come back and blog for you, baby
because I love ya
and I know you want some 'o this
so make the best of your two days off
see a movie, wash your car, eat an entire pizza
spend some time with your friends
and someone you love
just make sure you enjoy it
- by adminas of 5pm I'm off work until next Tuesday (see you next Tuesday har har) which means I'll be attempting to make my time at the gym match up with the amount of eating, lazing around and holiday boozing I'll be doing. T'isn't the season for self-restraint, it's not often anyone makes me dinner any more.
basically I want this to be me right down to the silly hat and gingerbread
going last-minute shopping with Ty tonight which is going to be scary. we're going to Toys R Us to get stuff for his nieces & nephew and I'm getting a headache just thinking of the screeching pre-Christmas kids losing their minds in that store. you'll probably find me hiding out in the infants section caressing a toy that makes some sort of soothing sound.
okay that's not true. I don't really mind going at all except that I'd rather be sitting in my warm living room under the glow of our (real!!!) Christmas tree sipping a strong beverage watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, or, preferably, Drunk History Christmas with Ryan Gosling, Jim Carrey and Eva Mendes
if I could just have this forever I'd be such a happy lady
happy (almost) holidays!
- by adminbut when they've been repressing an entire country their whole lives
being the butt of so many jokes already
does that make it okay?
I guess so.
My fav Kim Jong-Il joke since he died on Saturday is Kim Jong-Il dropping the base
too bad the self-described 'internet expert probably never even knew of the hilarious memes that his bizarre onesie-clad self spawned