Hey love crusader I want to be your space invader

November 21, 2009 - 10:19pm - by admin

I'm not really a morning person in the least but I'll do my best to suck it up when there's an attractive man waking me to let me know that he got up before me to make an omelette (bleu cheese with tomato and sour cream, as per uge -so tasty) and home made hash browns while I was sleeping.

Last night we went for the most amazing but super expensive sushi that I stupidly didn't take photos of
nor did I document our 12$ martinis
but that's okay
I have the memory of the gyoza, the Super Philly rolls and "eels".

Went out for coffee but realized we were both hungry so we went to Baked Expectations and as per usual I didn't order any dessert from the dessert store.

Instead I got this goodness:
Om nom nom nom.
Picked up some new grandma shades from some random store in the Village; I think it's called Urban Waves but I forget.
I need to straighten my hair.

Oh yeah guess what's happening tonight?!
FUCK.
YES.

I can't begin to tell you how massively stoked I am.

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My blue jeans is tight

November 21, 2009 - 3:07am - by admin

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Presses me into crumpled dark

November 20, 2009 - 6:47am - by admin

I keep swearing I won't blog about him.

I’m beginning to think I should make a secret blog à la Zucket
have more fun over there
gush
be stupid
but I want to be candid on my own little
re-invented
slice of the internet.

I'm working on it.

things sort of swept together so quickly, one second he wasn’t mine, the next he was and now I’m caught in this wave of emotion and goodness and candid openness like I’ve never known before.

I forgot that boys could have feelings
didn’t know that they could god forbid ever admit to them
that they would want to do things like hold you without you asking
talk about how they felt about situations instead of making you guess
not give silent treatments
and not be hot-and-cold
who would drop you off at your doorstep, not at the gas station across the street
like other boys
“I’m too lazy to turn around”
he’s better than that.

I feel like I’ve been with boys my whole life
and this one is an actual man.
so well rounded
mature
has his shit together
a real career.

I guess I’m still scared to talk about him here
making a real person real in my place in a place that doesn’t really exist when you think about it, really
might somehow jinx it
like maybe I somehow stumbled upon this happy accident
and might let it slip away just as accidentally.

I don’t want to let this slip away.

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I've been out of my body with you

November 19, 2009 - 6:23pm - by admin

I wouldn’t have said that I believe in ghosts per se.

Naturally when I read ghost stories I would feel the same nervous feelings as most, I would dismiss the stories I heard from friends with a flippant half-interest meant to mask my fascination with these things that, apparently, happened without any explanation.

And of course I didn’t think twice about moving into Roslyn Manor even though everyone told me it was haunted.

I’ve been living in my suite for almost eight months and have always felt safe there; it’s small and cozy and comfortable and more than one person has commented on how homey it feels. Of course sometimes I make myself jump or creep myself out a little bit but I never thought anything of it, I’ve always written it off as being in my head.

Except last night I was lying in bed on my left side, facing the wall, trying to fall asleep. I had my arms up near my chest and was beginning to doze off when I felt movement behind me and the sensation that someone had their arms around me, holding my wrists in their hands with their chest against my back.

At first I thought it was Ty, I lay there with my eyes closed as I was pulled backwards, like when someone squeezes you from behind while you’re spooning, drawing you against them. I could distinctly feel a persons’ chest against my back.

Then the hands around my wrists started to squeeze and the pressure began to tighten and I began to lose feeling in my hands, I was being pulled backwards with my hands being drawn against myself and I opened my eyes in the darkness and said “Ty… Ty… Ty…” to get his attention, and then I realized that he didn’t stay over last night.

I was alone in my apartment.

I began to feel afraid and I closed my eyes and said out loud “you’re scaring me”.

And the hands let go, the pressure stopped.

There was nothing behind me in the bed anymore; I could feel on my skin where the hands were and the faint, receding pressure on my back as though I’d been leaning against something, but it was gone.

And oddly enough, once the feeling came back into my hands and my heart stopped pounding… I felt safe.

I know this sounds crazy, I know it sounds like nonsense or a nightmare but I was completely and totally awake as this happened.

I’ve had Sleep Paralysis, as I mentioned a few posts ago, and this wasn’t the same thing.
Those were nightmares and the pressure on my body was different, that felt more like being too heavy to move, every part of me being weighed down. This was pressure in a different way, I felt something holding me, and only on my wrists and on my back.

And most importantly, I wasn’t frightened. At least not until I realized that it wasn’t Ty, and afterward I felt safer than I did before, whereas with Sleep Paralysis I would be terrified and on the verge of tears, not wanting to go back to sleep because I was scared it would happen again.

I fell asleep immediately after this happened, I dreamt as usual and oddly enough even though I only got about five hours’ sleep I feel extremely well-rested.

Look.

I’m not saying it’s a ghost.

I’m not.

But I don’t know what the fuck that was.

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Stop trying to lure me in with a crimp

November 19, 2009 - 4:58am - by admin

Oh and did I mention that there’s a song in every episode?
Like the Bouncy Bouncy Crimp



Or the Future Sailor's Song



or my personal favorite
"Eels"
featuring the Cockney Hitcher



Fuck I'm weird.

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This could be the end of everything

November 18, 2009 - 6:50pm - by admin

Due to a conversation had on a walk last night I've been perusing the Old Blog and found this, and am going to re-post it here. Old Blog holds a special place in my heart and I think from time to time I'm going to carry an old post over here, just because.

Enjoy.

The movie You've Got Mail holds a special place in my heart. Maybe I identified with the idea of falling in love again, because at the time I'd just had my very first heartbreak when I came across it while channel-surfing, listless and sad, on the couch. It made me cry because it seemed (and still seems) so pure.

There's a line in it where Tom Hanks as Joe Fox says:

Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.

And whenever it starts to get cool and I throw on my jacket I think of that line and the New York streets I've never seen in real life and I smile a little bit and wonder if maybe someone would be charmed if I sent them a bouquet of pencils? Would they smile and remember being young, or would it be a reminder of times long-past? Painful first-days and pre-teen dances.

I love back-to-school sales, the smell of plastic and double-lined paper. Duo tangs and Bic pens that come in packages of varying colors and gym bags that for the moment smell like rubber instead of old socks. I feel very at-home in stores like Staples, I could wander the aisles for hours inspecting the over-sized calendars and imagining the future things the Post-Its would say:

Gone for coffee, be back soon.
Colonoscopy @ 2:45 tomorrow
Your poodle's haircut looks stupid

and so on.

Casual warmth is a big part of Autumn; Pumpkin Spice lattés sipped through varying colored scarves that don't quite protect against the biting northern wind. People bundled up in their pre-winter wear, pea coats and wool gloves too thin to wear in December. Knitted toques with pom-poms on the top that would let too much heat escape in two weeks' time to be practical. It's such a charming time of year.

"I'm just a little chilly" is so much more endearing than "I can't feel my fucking toes".

The leaves will change color and fall maybe a little too quickly and I'll refrain from jumping in every neatly-raked pile as I listen to Your Red Right Ankle with my little bag of carry-out sushi headed for home. I'll watch the mighty river fight against the frost as it slowly freezes over, leaning over the ledge of the Osborne bridge tapping my fingers to Somewhere Only We Know.

I'll breathe out as the river passes below me, see a cloud of mist and wonder if it's just carbon dioxide or maybe more? Forgotten hopes, empty dreams, broken hearts leaving me. Autumn makes me aware of change, of things that shrivel and die and maybe don't come back but more often than not re-emerge with the time is right even more beautiful and powerful than before.

I'll be reminded of the path my life has taken, and where it will go. How unpredictable the world can be, how from one day to the next everything can change with a word, a thought, a sigh. It frightens me a bit, but I know that I can always rely on Autumn, my time of reflection and growth, of lattés and scarves and Number Two pencils, to remind me that everything will work out in the end.

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My speeding heart

November 17, 2009 - 5:47am - by admin

Every Friday as you all know there's the Ask Tony portion of the Busblog and this was what I asked Tony and the response I got back in all his wisdom:

Alyson: On the ladies: glasses or contacts?

im a weirdo, i like glasses. i dont care what kind of glasses. horn rimmed, john lennon type, sexy secretary, see thru vision jobs, all kinds. you know who i think is beautiful? mrs chad cavalaro. aka smelly mrs danielley. sometimes she wears matt good glasses, sometimes she goes au natural. i can see why women wouldnt wear glasses on their wedding day, but i think they are an accessory that often gets a bad rap.

first: I totally agree, Danielle is a complete fox.

second: I asked Tony because I got a new pair of glasses over the weekend and am a little nervous about 'em, wearing strictly contacts and all.

So here are some shots of my stupid face with new glasses on:

What do you guys think?

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It's a mash-up!

November 17, 2009 - 12:36am - by admin

This might not look like the most appetizing thing due to the chicken being uncooked when I took the photo and all, but that there is some red Thai curry with chicken, bamboo shoots, water chestnuts and peppers that completely blew my face off with it's goodness on Saturday night.

No, I didn't make it.

When do I make shit?

I have shit made for me.

I have to say that this whole situation has me feeling a bit spoiled, and I'm trying hard to focus on all the other, amazing things happening right now like kicking ass in school and getting a raise at work but this is definitely the cherry on top of my cake.

Moving on.

I have some home-made french onion soup in the oven atm and it smells divine, I'm about to invest in some much-needed House Time and he left his shirt here so I've been occasionally smelling it like the wussy girl big 'ol creeper that I am.

Did I tell you guys I've been suffering from some intense sleep paralysis lately?

What the hell? How do I make it stop?

I don't approve of nightmares.

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Divorce of the future

November 16, 2009 - 6:59pm - by admin

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Fashion, baby

November 14, 2009 - 8:44pm - by admin

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