Tagged: uncategorized
hi, I'm Ford
- by admin
like, Ford Prefect.not to be confused with
Harrison Ford
Ford Fiesta
Betty Ford
Henry Ford
Clinton Ford
Francis Ford Coppola
Gerald Ford
Jack Ford
Robert Ford
and definitely not
Evil Toronto Rob Ford
I'm so handsome and so affectionate that as I was being adopted two different people called to ask if I was still waiting to be adopted out, so Alyson and Tyrone knew they were pretty lucky because I was such a popular guy.
now that I'm home I like to sit in the red chair in the living room
so I can see what everyone is doing
and if I'm not there
or underfoot, meowing for your attention
I like to hide in quiet places to snooze
like Alyson's closet
or among her shoes
or under the bed.
this morning Tyrone found me inside the cabinet behind the shower in the bathroom
what was I doing in there?
right now the fire alarms are being tested in the building, and that's scary, so I'm snuggled next to Alyson since she's home sick today with a headache and stuffy sinuses. I'm purring at her until she gets better.
but I realize this isn't a pet-blog, and though I'll be making appearances on this blog from time to time, I promise that I won't make a habit of writing to you guys all the time.
besides, I'll be too busy demanding cuddles, playing with my toys and lying on laps to blog much.
Hip Hop Sunday #27 Falco - Der Kommissar
- by admin
let's tip our caps
"to a money making player that ain't with us no more
gang banging thug that never seen it coming"
Happy Hip Hop Sunday
ladies night last night
- by admin
even though I didn't blog yesterday, don't worry, I was being taken care of by Amber & Kat who are the best babysitters because they go out for dinner with you and hang at your house and yell-talk and drink tasty drinks and have lots of fun with you.
we went to Basil's and had the following things: baked brie with fruit, calamari and tzatziki, babaghanoush, and chicken pesto pizza with a glass of wine each & it was divine. I'm sorry you weren't there but it was Ladies Night except for the part waaay later in the evening where Jonny Broadway came over and hung out, but that was later & I'd forgotten to invite you, sorry.
I also didn't take any pictures which I know you understand, because sometimes you're having too much fun too remember to record how much fun you're having, so you'll just have to take my word for it that we listened to a bunch of good music and talked about girlie stuff.
but I've got a photog date with @stefspeaks in a bit & just realized I haven't showered yet or gotten dressed so I don't smell like old liquor since I spent all morning lying in bed with Tyrone playing video games all nekkid.
so I'll see you kids later.
Dear Zach Galifianakis
- by admin
which makes me young, I know, but at least I have good taste. at least that's what my friends tell me and wouldn't you trust your friends to be honest with you? mine are my harshest critics & I like it that way, it keeps me honest & open & real & pushing myself.
and I know you know a lot about that, pushing yourself, I mean because it's pretty rare that people just BAM explode onto the scene and I'm sure you tried for a while before becoming a hotshot comedian and big Hollywood movie star, too, and though I don't want to be in Hollywood I do want to do something with myself, too.
Wikipedia says that you used to be "underground" and now I guess that means you're "mainstream" and I wonder what you think about that? Does all the money, booze, drugs and sexy ladies looking to fondle your junk make it worth it or do you feel bad because you can't be a hipster comedian anymore?
was this what you always wanted, Zach?
maybe it is since I guess it's what a lot of people want, or think they want, but now you're a big star and we'll never be friends because why be Internet Friends with some peon like me? I don't even have my own web show on FunnyorDie let alone be some sort of bigshot famous person like you, so what shot do I have of having a cool underground-to-mainstream friend.
zilch.
but if you ever read this, give me a shout at alysondotshaneatgmaildotcom because I think you're cool & funny and basically it would make everyone I know super jealous and I would go to all of your movies forever, even if they made a Hangover 3 I would just get wasted and go and sit through it because we're friends, god damn it, Zach Galifianakis.
and that's just what friends do for each other.
one of my profs has a beef with crows
- by admin
he said this during a lecture once: let's talk seriously for a second about birth control for crows and yes it's weird and he's weird which is why his class is great, but he was talking about how crows are supersmart and wily and it worries him.ever hear about those crows that use cars to crack nuts?
wtf is up with that?
there are lots of crows that hang around in my neighbourhood and some of them are downright intrusive. they'll hang around in front of our windows (we're on the 3rd floor) and yell at us or come right up to you while you're standing on the front stoop and give you mean crow cut-eye like they own the place.
personally they make me nervous, birds that are that smart are bound to figure it all out eventually.
I mean c'mon this crow figured out how to go tubing
I can't always listen to the Arcade Fire
- by admin
it's not that I don't love them, I do. I love them like a fat kid loves cake. like sixteen year old girls love Justin Beiber. like Britney Spears loves Taco Bell. like Mitt Romney secretly loves universal health care and the gays.
it's that as a student I spend a lot of my time writing papers. a lot. more than I care to talk about on this here blog and since I have to spend so much time inside my own head working and re-working what I want to say as though I am a true, professional rhetor. as a result I usually write in complete silence so I can get my thoughts in order.
except when I listen to my two "paper soundtracks", The Social Network Soundtrack and for some reason The Suburbs by The Arcade Fire. don't ask me why because I'm not sure how it worked out that way for if I spend four hours writing a paper it means I'm either working in silence or have one or both of those albums on repeat/rotation.
I don't get it, either.
the problem is that because I always listen to The Suburbs when I'm writing papers when I listen to it in a non-paper writing situation I'm brought back to the hours I spent sloughing through Heidegger, lying through my teeth in my man-hating sociology class, or perfecting my papers in my English classes.
not stuff I want to be thinking about in my hours outside of campus.
but Alyson I hear you saying there's more than one Arcade Fire album, you dummy and I'll say yes I know but The Suburbs is their best in my opinion even though I have much love for Neon Bible it just isn't as polished or as catchy or as awesome so it's not the same.
it doesn't get as much rotation as The Suburbs and as a result I'm stuck thinking about being in school, at school, and working on papers for school which sometimes is like agony for me because I just want to get the fawk out of there sometimes, you know?
but I keep listening to it because it's so good.
in fact I'm listening to it right now, as I'm writing this.
and now I'll go to bed thinking about Kierkegaard. damn.
here is what being a Rhetoric student has taught me
- by admin
nothing I ever say will convince you and I'll talk to you till I'm blue in the face but even if you say
okay Alyson, I agree with you
you probably won't because though my job is to convince you almost nobody is ever truly convinced
which makes me sad.
everyone is always arguing with each other, which means we're having an argument right now and we don't even realize it
you're probably saying
stfu Alyson and get on with the post
and I'll say
okay just this once
because I don't want to fight anymore.
let's not fight, okay?
everything I say to you will fade & become irrelevant
which is the worst for a writer because we like to trick ourselves that our words are Dickens in waiting, but rhetoric is limited to the language of the day and what I say now may not even make sense in 10, 20, 30 years
I'll be an old lady and whippersnappers won't care what any of us had to say about anything
kids these days.
everyone can do rhetoric
so why am I studying it?
to do it better than you?
can I?
who knows, it's all subjective
so I'll never know.
damn.
mostly I've learned rhetoric can't solve all of our problems
which comes back to nobody being convinced by anyone else
so we only use rhetoric when we know we can persuade other people
so am I persuading you, now?
or are you still mad at me from before?
