Tagged: thoughts
Je Suis Charlie
- by Alyson Shane
I'm a writer and an artist.
I always have been, I always will be.
I believe in freedom of speech, and I also believe that satire and humour are two of our most powerful tools in our rhetorical arsenal.
They are how we explore challenging and uncomfortable ideas.
They are how we open up dialogues about religion, sex & sexuality, politics, and anything else that ruffles people's feathers.
Satire and humour are crucial to our development as a society, and Charlie Hebdo pushed the envelope in both areas.
They did so regularly, and did so without apology.
They challenged people's beliefs, their values, their fears.
They regularly poked fun of people's religion, political leanings, the values that they held dear, and forced them to take a good, hard, long look at themselves in the mirror and ask
"Is this really what I want to believe in?"
Well... at least it did for some of us.
Others reacted with fear, hatred, violence, and vitriol when confronted with things they would rather not see.
It takes a brave person to accept that others do not agree with you.
The individuals who acted in Paris, killed 12 people and injured 11 others, were cowards.
Cowards who took themselves, their religion, and the opinions of others too seriously.
I'm furious. I'm horrified. I keep asking myself "what can I do? How can we continue to defend freedom of speech against people who are willing to do anything to suppress it?"
So I'm doing the one thing I can do: write about it.
I'm expressing my support for the murdered members of Charlie Hebdo and their families, for the ones who remain and will keep writing, drawing and publishing, and for the kinds of cultural dialogues that the paper (and ones like it) force us to engage in.
If we don't challenge ourselves as a society, if we don't poke fun of beliefs, scrutinize ideas, and otherwise make ourselves uncomfortable we can't ever move forward.
We will continue to live in fear, to be afraid of speaking up about difficult subjects too often, or too loudly, or at all.
We will have failed as a society.
Let's try not to do that anymore.
#project365 - Making Memories Project
- by Alyson Shane
I've decided to try my hand at #project365, where I'll take one photo per day, every day, for a year and post it to my Instagram.
(Taken today, on day 3, of the project. I love these lights in West Broadway)
I know it's a "trendy" thing to do, but hear me out:
I'm also a writer. A writer who wants to write more in 2015 (and always!).
I used to write heaps. When I was a student I posted almost every day about stuff I saw, was doing, had done, you name it.
In the age of "business-based blogging" I'm seeing so much less of that style of sharing and storing memories.
Remember when we used to do that?
I mean, there are still some bloggers who do.
(Tony & Raymi, to name a couple)
But me? I haven't as much, recently, but that changes today.
As part of my #project365 endeavour I'm also going to blog more frequently. I'm talking 5+ times a week, including a weekly #project365 post which will wrap-up the week and highlight some of my favourite moments.
About life, love, adventures, random thoughts, the silly stuff I find online. Whatever.
I want you guys to see every side of me.
Here goes, hope you enjoy the ride!
xox
yr girl Shaner
Is Bitchiness the Key to Success?
- by Alyson Shane
I've been listening to an audiobook of Amy Poehler's new book Yes, Please on my phone over the past little while.
Most of what I know of her is of her character on Parks and Recreation and at first I had trouble reconciling Lesley Knope's ridiculously-cheerful character with Poehler's aggressive statements and observations about success, such as "sometimes I worry that not enough people hate me".
Throughout her book, she paints a clear picture that she got to where she is by busting her ass and not taking shit from people.
What struck me about this is that the scenes she uses to illustrate these points - such as screaming at some jerk on an airplane who was harassing her - are commonly identified as being "bitchy behaviours." Even though she spends all of her time working to promote herself and further her career, she still has to deal with people who refer to her as A Bitch.
As a businessperson I totally identify with this - I haven't accomplished what I have by sitting back and waiting for it to come to me. I've blogged for years, maintain an active online presence, jump at the option to speak publicly and share my knowledge, and make a living hustling to get my name out there. Sure, it's paying off, but it's taken time and dedication and I've definitely been called names once or twice during that time -largely when I've stood up for myself.
So as I've been listening to the audio book I've found myself wondering "obviously a no-BS attitude is the key to being successful, but does that actually classify as 'bitchy behaviour'?"
I don't think so, and here's why:
Being "a bitch" actually doesn't mean refusing to take shit from people and being ambitious as hell, it means being mean and deliberately nasty, which we should all strive not to do regardless of our career aspirations.
However, unfortunately women are often classified as being "bitches" when they exhibit ambitious behaviour or stand up for themselves because of larger (unfortunately in many cases still extremely pervasive) gender inequality issues that exist within our society.
Too often, our society uses negative language to discredit successful women and to downplay their efforts. By calling an assertive woman a bitch, we're stripping her of any power that she might have because it implies that the only reason that she got to where she is in her life was through underhanded and nasty tactics. She doesn't actually deserve your respect, attention, or admiration because she's just a bitchy woman, nothing special.
I've seen men do this far too often, and -perhaps more worrying- I've seen women do it as well. Women are taught to be jealous of other women's successes, and name-calling is one tactic that we employ to justify our feelings of jealousy or insecurity.
So how can we be successful without being "bitches"?
I think the secret is to start trying to reclassifying what is actually "bitchy" (nastiness, underhanded behaviour, etc) and what is just plain old ambition and drive, and to start focusing more on the ways in which women work together to be successful.
Women need to say nice things about other women.
A great local example is the Women's Enterprise Centre of Manitoba. There are heaps of super-talented ladies involved with helping one another working there, and nobody is going around saying things like "this totally successful bitch taught a class the other day."
Instead, they say things like "I met this amazing woman the other day. She was driven and focused and really knew what she was talking about. She doesn't take shit from anyone!"
These are the kinds of stories that we should be telling about women in business, and when women like Amy Poehler publish memoirs like Yes, Please, which encourage women to stand up for themselves and not be doormats who wait for their careers to be handed to them, we should applaud her efforts, not call her a "bitch" and downplay her drive.
What Happened to.... The Lo Pub?
- by admin
is what owner Jack Jonasson had to say about it in this very sweet and moving little video from The Uniter about my favourite, now-defunct, watering hole The Lo Pub.
Lo was located in a HI Hostel a few blocks away from the UW campus and it's where I spent the majority of my spare time as a first-and-second year student.
I made a lot of memories in that tiny, often over-crowded, noisy little bar.
It's where I attended my first Secret Handshake.
It's where I met Colin and got to know him, Kevin and Adrian who I count as very dear friends to this day.
It's where I saw too many bands -both good and abysmal- to count at this point.
It's where my friend Skot Deeming threw his gr8bit and Data Dance shows.
It's where the Winnitron Indie Arcade Machine lived for a good long while.
It's where I met Abstract Artform for the first time, before he whisked us away into an evening of beers and way too good karaoke.
Most importantly, it's where I spent a lot of time hanging out with people that I loved, and a special place that will always hold so many memories.
Here's a post that I wrote when the Lo Pub closed; it's still hard for me to read.
Places like the Lo Pub live on in our memory and our collective consciousness. They remind us of times, thoughts, and feelings that we let slip away in our day-to-day lives.
Every time I go by the space where my the Lo Pub used to be, my heart swells with pride and also breaks a little bit, and I mourn for the days spent over beers and vegetarian poutine at my favourite shithole.
Goodbye Greysolon
- by admin
it's been a slice.
I lived in that little two-bedroom apartment in that little three-storey walk-up on Spence Street in West Broadway for almost four years.
It's seen me through a lot of things
relationships
jobs
friendships
university
so many beginnings and so many ends that I've lost count.
I made it my own. I painted, I hung up my art, I whispered my secrets and mourned my tragedies within those plaster walls.
That apartment wasn't just a place that I lived. It was somewhere where I shared my life with someone else, and it marks the final "moving on" step in my life. It felt good -cathartic, even- but there was still a piece of my heart that felt like there was a lead weight pulling it down to my toes.
I walked through the rooms, soaking in their emptiness.
The living room, totally barren, with paint flecks on the floor from when my ex and I put together and painted our own furniture because we didn't have the money to buy anything new. The window where Ford and Toulouse used to sit when they lived together. All the good times shared with friends in that room.
The old bedroom that we once shared, now the new tenant's room, where I used to wake up and look at the sun through the vines that crept across the window. Where I woke up with a smile on my face so many times and where, towards the end, I woke up with dread in my heart. I cried myself to sleep in that room too many times to count.
The old office. So trendy and cool and well-organized. The hours I spent blogging, writing papers in university, or just nerding out over YouTube videos or some weird post on Reddit.
I've sold the desk where I used to sit.
The kitchen, with it's awful storage and cobbled-together shelving. The large, gaping space on the wall where my ex pulled the floating bar we'd installed off the wall in a fit of rage after I moved out. I didn't like being there in that kitchen, looking at the evidence of that side of him. I didn't stay in there long.
I cried a bit, and John held me. It helped.
When I stepped out and locked the door for the last time I felt light headed. Like when you're in an airplane and it's taking off and your heart is floating in your chest and your whole body feels like weightless. I floated down the hallway and left trails of tears behind me.
I'll still visit the Greysolon from time to time, as I know people who live there, but that was the last time that I'll walk up to suite 17 and turn my key in that lock. The last time that I'll be bombarded with feelings and emotions and that strange feeling of not-quite-right that it took on once I lost a lover and acquired a roommate.
It's good, but also different, and strange. Life is like that, I suppose.
So goodbye, Greysolon, and my dumpy old apartment that, for a while, was something truly beautiful.
xox
yr girl Shaner
I lead the best life
- by admin
I don't say that enough because we're trained not to say it.
We live in a big, cynical world and it's cool to emphasize the struggle and be a starving, fucked-up artist or whatever
but sometimes, when life is just right
you have to #humblebrag.
Which is what this post is.
I have amazing friends. It's funny how you only realize who the good, solid people are when you go through yr toughest times, but when they do holy hell does it feel good to know you have them in yr corner.
I have an amazing bf who is funny and charming and makes me feel like the only girl in the world. I love him endlessly.
I have a blossoming career that challenges and inspires me constantly.
I have all of you, who show up here and read day after day & year after year to read this nonsense and comment and send me nice messages once & a while. Because you're beautiful people.
Thank you, all of you, for making my life so rich.
xox
yr girl Shaner
I know this isn't a very good song
- by admin
by a band that isn't all that great, really.
But sometimes I get it in my head and can't get it out no matter how hard I shake it or listen to Royal Canoe.
The first time I really listened to it
I mean really listened
was while walking down the street in Hamilton when I lived there.
It was spring but still cold and I was walking around puddles and I was sad because I missed Winnipeg and everyone in it, even though I would have never admitted it at the time -to myself or to anyone.
I walked around and was thinking about my boyfriend and my life and how lonely I was even though I'd left on what was supposed to be this grand, life-changing adventure
it didn't really change me at all
at least, not until after it was over, anyway.
This song was on a playlist that my then-boyfriend had put together for me and as I walked through the weird, kinda-scary tunnel under the train track hill to pick up my sushi and sashimi Saturday night dinner for one I realized
you hold me down.
Which is never a good feeling
because things got complicated after that.
Goodbye, Mr. Williams
- by admin
Thank you for being a part of my life growing up.
Thank you for all the times my family could put aside their differences and watch Aladdin or Jumanji for the millionth time.
Thank you for your characters, who were so conflicted and real and human, and who helped me understand complex ideas like loss and despair long before I actually experienced them in real-life.
Thank for you being my childhood friend, even though you never knew it.
Thank you for giving hope to so many of us in the face of your own inner demons.
Thank you for making us smile even when you felt like you couldn't.
Thank you for bringing people together, even in your death, to laugh and cry and feel together.
Thank you for the memories, wonderful and bittersweet as they may be.
I'll never forget you.
xox
yr girl Shaner
Let's Talk About: Inappropriate Words
- by admin
When I was a little girl my parents got me a whole series of books called "Let's Talk About" which were designed to help small children deal with their emotions and attitudes that can prevent them from becoming responsible young people and eventually responsible adults.
They had titles like "Let's Talk About: Bullying," "Let's Talk About: Feeling Jealous" and other stuff like that. I think about those books a lot and reflect on how they provided an opportunity for me and my parents to have a dialogue that was at my level about complex issues.
While I don't want to talk about those books, I want to use this post as a way of having an open dialogue about something that embarrasses me a lot, and something that I'm hoping to change: my tendency to use words like "retard" and "gay" as derogatory terms in regular conversation.
Kind of like my own personal Let's Talk About.
It seems to me that the reason that we use words like "gay," "retard" and "homo" when we're young is because we hear them and recognize that they're insults, but we're too immature to grasp the larger context of what they mean in our society and how inappropriate it is to say them.
So I grew up using these words and they managed to make their way into my speech patterns as an adult largely because most of the people that I knew still used them.
It's easy to feel like calling someone a retard is okay when everyone you hang out with uses that word all the time.
As we get older we're supposed to learn these rules of social conduct, but many of us disregard them because we haven't grown up enough to realize that it's actually really offensive and hurtful to use that kind of language.
(For example, I used this image as a response in online conversations way more than I care to admit.)
Recently though I've had the opportunity to have some productive talks with different people about using those sorts of words and it's made me think about how frequently I fell back on using them, and the extent to which I defended my so-called "right" to say whatever I want (no matter how hurtful) and expressed annoyance at people being "butthurt" over it.
It's not nice to open your eyes and realize that you acted poorly when you could have made better choices, but that's how we learn and I want to take a moment to publicly apologize to anyone whose feelings I may have hurt with that sort of language: I'm sorry.
I could have acted better, and moving forward I intend to do so.
With that in mind, I'm looking for some help. It's not easy to change our speech patterns, and I would love some input for how to remove these words from my vocabulary. What tips or suggestions do you have?
Thanks in advance!
xox
yr girl Shaner
