Tagged: pink

I wasn't going to blog about this, but I will

- by admin

Because I advocate writing as a therapy.

I always say things like "if you don't bear yr soul nobody will give a damn about what you had to say" which I still think is true.

If I expect people to give a damn when I'm at my highest, they need to know me when I'm at my lowest.

Right now I'm at my lowest.

The past few months, however, I was at my highest: I was working somewhere amazing and I loved the shit out of my job.

I loved the people I worked with. I loved the work that I did. I even loved our clients, as much as they drove me crazy on occasion.

I walked into work every day happy to be there.

But good things don't always last.

Challenges exist to teach us lessons

the trials we face in life help us grow

and all that stupid bullshit people say to try and save face when their heart is breaking.

So now that you know that my heart is breaking

let me say this:

I'm going to miss that place. I'm sad that I've left.

But I wish everyone there all the best, because they deserve it.

Rock on, DF.


yr girl Shaner
Tags: Life Pink Sad Work


Sunday night, feelin' fine

- by admin

I haven't felt this relaxed in weeks.

Not even that time I went for that massage a few weeks ago. I was all nervous and anxious and didn't enjoy it at all.

I think I walked out of there more stressed out than when I walked in.

Isn't what what massages are supposed to fix? Honestly.

Turns out what I need to unwind are these 10 steps:

1. Sleep my ass in
2. Make a healthy & tasty brunch
3. Hit the gym & run like a mofo
4. Do deadlifts & squats like a boss
5. Come home n clean the apartment
6. Run a bath
7. Sit in the bath and read TIME Magazine
8. Use up my Tiber River goodies from MBlog
9. Drink chamomile tea with honey
10. Hug my cats & Tyrone

Perfect. I feel ready to take on anything.

If I could just melt into the floor into a puddle of bliss, I would.

But I can't.

So I blog instead.



#nomoresad is the cutest thing you'll see today

- by admin

Basically you email Michael Jukeson yr favourite song and he'll film a 30 second vid of him dancing to it, just for you.

It is charming, and adorable and the world needs more things like it.

(I already fired off my request, btw)

Here are a few of my faves from the youtube page:

Cred to @joeyng whose tweet alerted me to this adorableness.

Weeknight wings

- by admin


Post-gym we met up with @adriantrimble to catch up on stories and giggle like schoolgirls.

The last frame is empty because our server was so efficient that she cleared away my empty bowl before I could take a photo.

I was impressed/annoyed.


Cheap okay-ish beer. Suitable for a Thursday, though.


Fortunately Adrian is much taller than me and blocked a lot of the wind as we walked home in a snowstorm.


Still had time for a selfie, though.


Swimming makes me happy

- by admin

It also makes me feel like this:

And sometimes makes me with I'd stayed at home like this:

But working it in with my regular workouts is making me feel like I can take on the world.

And that's pretty cool.


Hello Christmas vacation

- by admin

hello wrapping gifts

hello glass of wine

hello The Killers Christmas song

hello sleeping in

hello getting paid to eat too much, too drink too much

hello half-assing it at the gym in a couple of days

hello GTA 5

hello Dr. Who

hello book club book

hello more free time than I know what to do with.

Aww yisss.
Tags: Pink


Today is Brad Pitt's birthday. He's 50.

- by admin

Which is both depressing and inspirational, because on one hand Brad Pitt is already 50, but on the other hand...

Damn. He still looks pretty fine for 50.

Giving men everywhere hope that if they're really lucky, and work hard, they can stay hot forever.

Or at least as long as they can afford to maintain their youthful vitality.

The thing I love about Brad Pitt isn't actually his fine, fine looks

(though those help)

but his serious acting chops. Looking over my list of most watched & loved movies it's not all that surprising that he's got a major role in a lot of them.

So in honour of his birthday here are my top 10 favourite Brad Pitt movies:

1. Fight Club
2. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
3. 12 Monkeys
4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. The Tree of Life
6. Se7en
7. Inglorious Basterds
8. Burn After Reading
9. Snatch
10. Interview with the Vampire

HBD Mr. Pitt!

Tags: Pink


Another weekend in the bag

- by admin


dinner's almost ready and we're having a bunch of healthy stuff to try and balance all the shite we ate/drank earlier and the gym we skipped on Saturday


which happened because at the time we usually go to the gyme we were actually waking up in 'MERICUH.

Which if you had asked me more than 24hrs earlier I would have no expected, at all. But that's one of the great things about life is we don't always know what we're in for and sometimes it's bad but mostly it's awesome. At least for me, anyway.

Who would have known that upon completing my interview with fabulous local band Les Jupes and heading out to Garbonzo's for a beer tasting with some of my finest male friends that we would be planning a trip to Grand Forks to drink beer.

Yes, that's really the entire reason that we went.

We weren't even in the good 'ol US of A for 24hrs but managed to have a ridiculously good time nevertheless -we closed down JL Beers and were right back at 'er the next morning before departing back to my lovely country of origin.

I was impressed at the waitress who made fun of Adrian's accent with us, the selection of beer at Happy Harry's, the cheapness of the burgers at JL Beers, and the amount of fun that we managed to collectively jam into less than a day.

Thanks boys, I'm glad we're friends.

cc: the amazing @cenquist, @kenquist, @adriantrimble and of course the always-charming @tyronedeise. Love you all.

I remember standing in Nathan Phillips Square

- by admin

I’d like to say that it happened just before things fell apart but if I’m being honest they were well over at this point and we were just clinging to some stupid hope that we could pull through even though it was obvious that we couldn’t.

I used to think looking back that we were in Toronto because we were looking at apartments but that isn’t right. This happened after I’d dragged him from Hamilton to Toronto to look at a place because I was lonely and miserable in Hamilton and desperately looking for some sort of familiarity which is how Toronto felt to me –something I knew and understood. He’d played along and we’d already put our names down for an apartment in a month or so by this point.

We were in town for WinterFest which maybe they still do in Toronto or maybe they don’t, I’m not sure since I haven’t been before or since that occasion.

The Weakerthans were playing and I wanted to see them. They weren’t one of my bands the way that they are now but I was sort of grasping for anything that felt like home at the time even though I didn’t realize it then.

I remember that we had a fight because he didn’t want to go so I hopped a Go Train and met him in Toronto as a compromise which didn’t really help because it was cold outside and he didn’t want to stand outside in the cold and see a concert even though that was the point.

He wanted to go and I didn’t because their set wasn’t finished and it was snowing and seeing this concert was the whole reason I’d dragged him to Toronto, dammit.

So he stayed on the edge of the crowd and I weaved my way to the front and felt better surrounded by all the people and a group of guys and two girls started talking in between one of the songs and mentioned that they were from Winnipeg and I said

hey me too

and we all talked about how they were on layover between London and Winnipeg for a few days and were in town to see the show and I said I’m moving to Toronto soon and they said

you’re so brave

and I felt brave for the first time in a long time.

One of them gave me a swig of the rye they were drinking as the next song started playing and I remember closing my eyes and feeling the snow on my face and listening to that song and feeling

so hopeful and excited for the future.


It didn’t last very long. A few weeks later I found myself on a flight back to Winnipeg to pick up the pieces of my heart and the life I had tried to leave behind.

I couldn’t listen to The Weakerthans for a really long time and especially not that song which I associated with that last perfect moment which of course wasn’t perfect at all.

It’s been a long time since that moment and last week I found myself wandering around The Exchange in the dark humming that same song as I looked up at the big rows of windows

and I realized that it still made me feel hopeful and happy. Just in a different way.

It’s funny how things change.

Regarding that double-suicide in Etobicoke

- by admin

where the elderly couple jumped 18 stories to their respective deaths together because the wife was in severe pain and didn't want to live anymore, and her husband didn't want to live without her, so they jumped from their balcony together.

I wonder how they felt.
(Euphoric? Scared? Filled with regret?
-Hopefully not the last one.)
I wonder if they cried.
I wonder if they held hands.

I wonder if I would do it, if it were me.

As morbid as it is I've thought about suicide a few times -not in the immediate future, but what it would mean for me as someone who will get old and whose body won't always be kinda nice to look at kinda work the way that it's supposed to.

It also makes me think about what it would mean for other people, and why they would make that decision.

It also makes me think about how we, as a society, view suicide.

It bugs me that most people look at it as something that only fucked-up people do. Remember that guy Martin Manley from a few months back who took his own life and put up a website about it? I read a mirror of the site when the news exploded and he seemed like a pretty level-headed guy. He knew what he was doing. But still we had (have?) this urge to paint everyone with the same brush because it's easy -I remember reading boatloads of comments about how he just had to be fucked in the head to even consider suicide as a viable option.

I think we have this reaction because death is scary and I think we're scared by the fact that people can look at death head-on and think

"yeah, I'm okay with this."

That doesn't make it brave, or noble, or any of that shit. But I don't think it makes it cowardly, or selfish, or any of the other things people call it, either.

It's just a thing that some people do that makes us sad.

Mostly because our society doesn't really give us the tools to cope with it. We see it as some sort of giving up, as rejection of life, which is something that we should always want.

But we don't always want it, and we shouldn't always have to.

It's fucked up, but by and large that's how life is.

Fucked up.

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